These Are My Confessions!

I read the obituaries - EVERYDAY! Before you label me as a morbid freak fascinated with death, let me explain.

In 1998 as a freshmen at New York University, I participated in an exercise which changed my life forever and eventually led to my obituary reading habit. I later discovered the excerpt was taken from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey - Habit #2 Begin With The End in Mind!

Basically, I was asked to close my eyes and imagine myself at a funeral. Upon my arrival I was confronted by family, friends, co-workers and schoolmates. I was encouraged to take a seat as the service was about to begin, but not before I passed by the coffin to pay my respects - AND IT WAS ME!

After we opened our eyes, we were given an assignment. Four people were invited to speak at my funeral (loved one, co-worker, religious figure, school figure) WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO SAY ABOUT YOU?

I was eager to impress the gentlemen who invited me to participate in the leadership circle, thus I began to eloquently elaborate on paper what my wife, my children, my pastor, my friends, my colleagues and associates would say about my accomplished life. Imagining myself dead was turning out not to be so bad after all. We were encouraged to share the things we wanted said about us and then came the question that would change my thinking forever - WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY TO ENSURE ALL THE THINGS SHARED WILL ACTUALLY HAPPEN?

Brain Freeze! He continued, "In other words, if that’s what you want your END to be then what are you doing today, tomorrow, next week to ensure those goals are being met?" Basically, he closed the exercise with this point...you can imagine all you want during this exercise, but if you don’t walk out of here and set goals to your end it won’t happen. For the first time in my life, I had a mental picture to inform my decision making. What I wanted my family, friends etc to say became the basis for my life's vision and purposes. I was empowered to begin making decisions consistent with my end - no longer going with the flow or living someone else’s vision for my life.

What does all this have to do with obituary reading! For me it’s a daily reminder of the funeral exercise almost 10 years ago. One day I’m going to die (hopefully later than sooner) and my daily, weekly, monthly and yearly decisions are hopefully solidify my end and the legacy and heritage I'll leave behind for my children and grandchildren.

What about you? Have you thought about your end lately? May I encourage you to add this exercise to your list of new year resolutions! It may be a good starting point to find your vision and purpose for life - or help to solidify and reaffirm what you already know! And if reading the obituaries helps, then join me in the morbid fascination! =) Legacy Builders - where you at?

Ralph