I have a ton of 'to do' lists...
I never had a 'stop doing' list until I read, What Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
The basic thesis of the book is simple: the things we do to succeed on one level can end up becoming a detriment to future success on another level if left unchecked.
After reading this book AGAIN and realizing how much I stink on so many levels, I thought I'd share the list with everyone since misery loves company.
I won't ask you to consider which ones personally apply because as soon as you read each one, you'll feel a dagger in your gut!
21 things to STOP doing...
1. Winning too much - The need to win at all costs and in all situations - when it matters, when it doesn't and when it's totally beside the point.
2. Adding too much value - the overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
3. Passing Judgement - the need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
4. Making destructive comments - the needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
5. Starting with "no," "but," or "however" - the overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone "I'm right. You're wrong."
6. Telling the world how smart we are - the need to show people we're smarter than they think we are.
7. Speaking when angry - using emotional volatility as a management tool.
8. Negativity, or "let me explain why that won't work" - the need to share our negative thoughts even when we weren't asked.
9. Withholding information - the refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.
10. Failing to give proper recognition - The inability to praise and reward.
11. Claiming credit that we don't deserve - the most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
12. Making excuses - The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
13. Clinging to the past - the need to deflect blame away from ourselves and unto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.
14. Playing favorites - failing to see that we are treating someone fairly.
15. Refusing to express regret - the inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we're wrong, or recognize our actions affect others.
16. Not listening - The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
17. Failing to express gratitude - the most basic form of bad manners.
18. Punishing the messenger - the misguided need to attach the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.
19. Passing the buck - the need to blame everyone but ourselves.
20. An excessive need to be "me" - exalting our faults as virtues simply because they're who we are.
21. Goal Obsession - this one has a whole chapter.
How did you do? I don't fare very well when I lay this list over my leadership grid. I know, retirement is looking real good for you too!
The second half of the book lays out very practical and helpful suggestions on how to make the necessary adjustments.
All jokes aside, the knowing is half the battle (the list is helpful), but the other half is believing God's call also comes with HIS divine equipping. There is power to start and STOP!
Life On Purpose,
Ralph
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