Favor IS Fair!

If you've spent any length of time in ministry circles, I'm sure you've said and/or heard the following statements:

Favor ain’t fair!

Favor ain’t fair, but it looks good on you!

fa·vor/ˈfāvər/ - Noun: An attitude of approval or liking

It is powerful when God shows up in a very particular way for a person, at a place or for some thing one might be doing on God’s behalf. In my circles, we refer to this as ‘the favor of God.’

As I watch the ‘favor game’ play out, I’ve wondered, who would NOT want a sign or indication that their life has God’s approval or liking? Can favor be measured, quantified and proven? Who determines the benchmarks? Are we guilty of judging things prematurely before the appointed time? Wouldn’t the mere facts regarding election, salvation and redemption sufficiently demonstrate the favor of God in our lives? I recall the disciples rejoicing over their apparent success on the road and Jesus having to redirect their rejoicing - your names are in heaven! Luke 10:20

I know some of this favor stuff is right up our meritocratic alley. We love the idea of earning stuff based on a system of merit and reward.

I read Proverbs 28:23 this morning…

“He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue.”

This is how the verse actually unpacked in my mind as I read it this morning…

He who rebukes (honestly confronts) a man will in the end (long term benefit) GAIN MORE FAVOR (I want more favor) than (a comparison is coming) he who has a flattering (lavish insincere praise and compliments upon, especially to further one's own interests) tongue.

So the proverb pitches a culture of honesty versus a lifestyle of flattery. DING! DING! DING!

Here’s are some of my ever evolving, wet cement musings on the issue...

I’ve gained more favor (not always at the moment) by being genuine and authentic with people – even saying the hard things at times.

The people in my life that have earned my respect are those who have been brutally honest with me about stuff. i.e. character flaws, weaknesses and the like. The honesty has been the ‘gifts’ money can’t buy! While I’ve not always loved correction in the moment, a wise man heeds correction and adds to his learning. Proverbs 1:5 & Hebrews 12:11

People in the long run will appreciate you for being a person who says what they mean and means what they say. For example, it might be better to say to someone, ‘hey man, preaching might not be your deal instead of ‘Yo, you killed it son’! I don’t want anyone to be the Bishop, Founder and CEO of the Handkerchief Ministry – you know, for the stuff that accumulates on the nose!

I recently heard someone publicly honor his pastor at a conference and than privately make fun of him in the green room. It made me sick to stomach! I prayed for him to have a 2 Kings 2:23-24 encounter!

How is it possible? I think we’ve created a culture that fosters and celebrates ‘public displays’ of honoring (GOOD) without actually taking an equal amount of time to ensure our words and hearts are in actual alignment (NOT GOOD). Jesus once said, the people honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me. Matthew 15:8

I’ve thrown my hat in the ‘honor ring’ and have made a more concerted effort these days to be about the business of giving honor where it’s due. If you honor the prophet, you get the prophets reward! Matthew 10:41 Com’ On Somebody! Hello! That’ll Preach! As my friend, Adam would say, you can't honor God without honoring the stuff he honors!

BUT I also dread the black hole of honoring for the wrong reasons - I've seen this more than I really care to admit! What is the use of public honor and private dishonor? I’d rather honor more in my heart and say it less than honor more with my mouth and my heart be honorless. (new word)

So, do you want more FAVOR? Consider using the powerful tools of tongue and words to engage in honest dialogue with those around you. If you prefer to use flattery as way of garnering “fake favor”, beware the trap you’re setting for yourself!

A man who flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his steps. Proverbs 29:5

Anyone can GAIN MORE FAVOR (Proverbs 28:23) - and that’s what makes it fair…

Favor IS Fair and it would look so good on YOU!

Rafael ‘Ralph’ Castillo