I wish I stumbled on it sooner...
It magically and eloquently captures my prayer closet rants before the Lord (over the years) in my ongoing struggle to remain humble, faithful and authentic as God continues to use me...
What's "It"?
I forget at times that His eyes blaze like fire - Who am I kidding? The crowds? In the end, they don't count when the scorecard is being tallied...neither will the amount of friends on facebook, twitter or any other earthly measure- it will all be burned up with the chaff.
I will recite this prayer every day until I die...
What "Prayer"? Keep reading
I also hope and pray that all my now/next generation leader friends will join with me in praying this for themselves and those they serve along side with...
What other weapon do we have to fight against entitlement and the other challenges plaguing now/next generation leadership in the 21st century.
This prayer should be the opening prayer at every conference, hung in every green room, attached to every contract/rider - and tattooed (if your theology is ok with tats) - as a healthy and necessary reminder!
I'll speak for my self...I'm honestly disgusted with how far off course, I've allowed the ever rapidly changing ministry landscape to distract me from what really matters (when the music fades and all is said and done).
I remember the days of ANYTHING, ANYWHERE, ANYBODY, ANYONE (even for 1) motivated purely out of love for HIM and HIS people. Now it's calendars, dates, engagements, gigs, who else is on the circuit, facebook, twitter, contracts, honorariums, meals, hotel accommodations, ROI...#*(#&(*&#(*#&(#*&#(*&#(*#&(#*&#(*&(#*&#(*&#(*&#(*&#(*#&(#*&#(*&# (I believe in the Spirit, but you don't want this interpretation) =)
I'm not complaining and I know to whom much is given much is required - more begets more! It comes with the territory - right?
Well, I'm sorry for the thing I've made it, while continuing to sing in your presence "I'm sorry Lord, for the thing I've made it - and it's all about YOU!" It is about YOU...but not always...not completely...is it ever really possible? I'm tempted to throw in the towel and just call it quits. I don't want it or need it IF the game ends up turning me into Frankenstein. There are already enough self created monsters in the game, enough to flood the annual Halloween parade in NYC - without the other wackos!
(forgive the broad stroke)
God if you never answer another prayer for me, I beg you - PLEASE answer this one. If I'm too far gone - don't do it for me, do it for your name sake (lead me in the path of righteousness FOR YOUR NAME'S SAKE)
(excerpt from A Preachers Prayer by A.W. Tozer)
Lord Jesus, I come to Thee for spiritual preparation. Lay Thy hand upon me. Anoint me with the oil of the New Testament prophet. Forbid that I should become a religious scribe and thus lose my prophetic calling. Save me from the curse that lies dark across the face of the modern clergy, the curse of compromise, of imitation, of professionalism. Save me from the error of judging a church by its size, its popularity or the amount of its yearly offering. Help me to remember that I am a prophet; not a promoter, not a religious manager—but a prophet. Let me never become a slave to crowds. Heal my soul of carnal ambitions and deliver me from the itch for publicity. Save me from the bondage to things. Let me not waste my days puttering around the house. Lay Thy terror upon me, O God, and drive me to the place of prayer where I may wrestle with principalities and powers and the rulers of the darkness of this world. Deliver me from overeating and late sleeping. Teach me self-discipline that I may be a good soldier of Jesus Christ.
I accept hard work and small rewards in this life. I ask for no easy place. I shall try to be blind to the little ways that I could make my life easier. If others seek the smoother path I shall try to take the hard way without judging them too harshly. I shall expect opposition and try to take it quietly when it comes. Or if, as sometimes it falleth out to Thy servants, I shall have grateful gifts pressed upon me by Thy kindly people, stand by me then and save me from the blight that often follows. Teach me to use whatever I receive in such manner that it will not injure my soul nor diminish my spiritual power. And if in Thy permissive providence honor should come to me from Thy church, let me not forget in that hour that I am unworthy of the least of Thy mercies, and that if men knew me as intimately as I know myself they would withhold their honors or bestow them upon others more worthy to receive them.
And now, O Lord of heaven and earth, I consecrate my remaining days to Thee; let them be many or few, as Thou wilt. Let me stand before the great or minister to the poor and lowly; that choice is not mine, and I would not influence it if I could. I am Thy servant to do Thy will, and that will is sweeter to me than position or riches or fame and I choose it above all things on earth or in heaven. Though I am chosen of Thee and honored by a high and holy calling, let me never forget that I am but a man of dust and ashes, a man with all the natural faults and passions that plague the race of men. I pray Thee therefore, my Lord and Redeemer, save me from myself and from all the injuries I may do myself while trying to be a blessing to others. Fill me with thy power by the Holy Spirit, and I will go in Thy strength and tell of Thy righteousness, even Thine only. I will spread abroad the message of redeeming love while my normal powers endure.
In Jesus Name
P.S. Thanks A.W. for your honest candor...it inspired mine...maybe someone else's...
Ralph
